I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
