Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
