You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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