Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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