it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
