Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
