Screwed.edu
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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