The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
