Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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