My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
