Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
