took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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