wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You are a genius and a whore.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
