I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
