I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
