I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
