i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
