is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
