Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
