I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
