I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
