I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
