i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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