so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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