Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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