I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
