Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
is that a dick in a sweater?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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