Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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