Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
