Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
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