When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
