I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
