is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
