You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
