how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
