My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
