It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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