oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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