We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
