I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
