No I am not eating basil off your cock
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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