Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
