I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
