yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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