I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
and she was petting her beer can
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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