dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
