I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
