WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
