I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
