guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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