I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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