where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
