carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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